Its been ages since I've blogged about anything. Due to school, I don't even have the time to write about my troubles anymore, so its clearly not as smooth sailing as it seems. Poly life has been pretty decent, but these problems are inevitable, especially when it comes to me, since I'm probably the most unlucky person ever in the friendship department of life.
There has been a few problems here and there, but they weren't that much of a problem. It seems that my patience has reached its limit, and suddenly everything around me just makes me feel uncomfortable.
Its kind of annoying actually, you're supposed to be one of my closest friends in poly, yet you don't even give me the basic respect. Yeah, I admit you do support me at times, but I cannot ignore the fact that you just don't give me the respect I deserve.
I was just voicing out my honest opinion, but what did you have to say? "Shut up, just shut up, literally, shut up". Just because you like the song, so I'm not allowed to say that I forgot the notes? That's just unfair, and rude. You make a typo, and I just laugh about it, more so just point it out in a joking manner, yet you go all apeshit on me and decide that you will throw me a string of vulgarities, repeat my accidental mispronunciation due to my braces and saliva coming into contact like more than 5 times, and calling me a "rotten xiao long bao" because another friend of mine said that as a joke the day before. Wow, that's so sweet of you ...
I can deal with your horrible anger management and lateness, but you can't even give me the respect that I give you. Tell me, do I tell you to shut up when you're giving your opinion? No.
But on my end, it sucks too. Because I don't have the courage to tell things to a person's face, until I've had enough and just want to end the relationship because its taking a toll on my life. I just suck it up and act like nothing's happen, that's my way of living. Sometimes I wish I was strong enough to stand up for myself, to defend myself, to protect myself, because I clearly can't now. At this rate, I'll probably end up breaking down again like I used to in the past.
At times, I do wish that I wasn't this close to you, so I wouldn't have to be treated with such disrespect and feel like your personal punching bag all the time. It hurts. I never gotten angry at you, but you just flare up at me just because someone else has got on your nerves, What have I done to deserve this from you? Why?
I hope things get better, but for now, I'm staying out of contact from you till I have the patience and tolerance to deal with your bullshit again. Your parents may have been liberal with you letting you curse here and there freely, but note this, it offends people in the long run, also people don't even know if you mean it or not, probably you do since you're so mean to people nowadays.
