Actually this issue isn't kept to myself, in fact I have been talking about it frequently these days. Well, I'm sure everyone has their own form of insecurity. For me, I have this strong insecure feeling over a part of my body -- the armpits.
Since young, I already had dark underarms. I also had a ridiculous amount of fat deposited to my armpit area. When I was still in primary school and lower secondary, it didn't seem to bother me that much. But me being a girl, I started to get extremely disturbed by the fact my armpits are this way. I started detering myself from sleeveless tops and dresses, so that nobody could see how horrendous they look. I would only wear sleeveless clothing when I was at home.
I know that my body is this way because it just is and I have to love myself for it, but its just too difficult. Talking to some of my friends about it, they told me not to care and it wasn't obvious anyway, but I myself know that it was definitely visible. I emvy those girls with nice armpits and get to wear sleeveless clothing almost all the time, because the only thing they had to worry about was shaving.
In this judgemental society we live in, its really difficult for me to wear sleeveless clothing out in public, fearing that people will judge me for having dark underarms and really fat arms. Since I came from an all gorls' school, I know that girls judge each other the most, even I used to judge girls who had dark underarms despite having them myself.
I've tried many methods to whiten my underarms, but nothing seem to work. Whitening creams, whitening deodorant, lemon juice etc, NOTHING! But thankfully I've found an exfoliating scrub that somehow improved the condition of my dark armpits, and I've been using it ever since, despite it being a little costly. I used to be really fat, so I thought that my armpit fats would go away once I lose all that extra flab. My arms did manage to become smaller, but no matter what I do, the armpit fats still remained exactly the same.
I've come to slowly embrace the fact that my armpit fats won't go away, so I've started to wear muscle tanks and sleeveless tops which have slightly more fabric on the arms, so that it could cover the fat. However, it really pains me to not be able to raise my hands confidently because of the darkness hidden beneath. I really hope that my armpits do whiten soon, then I can be just like the other girls, looking pretty in sleeveless tops in this hot weather.
